There has been so many complications in my life, but however much it may bring me down, i know i have somebody to lean on to.
My birthday wish this year? For my uncle to wake up from his deep sleep. I want him back by Hari Raya Haji, so that gramps will be happy. So that mum will be smiling. So that his family is once again reunited.
Then i thought to myself today, as i listened to Al Ruqyah, the words of God in the Al Quran, what is my real goal in life. Initially it was to travel around the world with my mum and gramps (insyaallah, if God willing), then i thought, i'd rather bring them away. Away to a holy place. To Haj. That'd be the world perfect gift from her daughter to her mum.
I just wish i keep my faith forever in me, and hope that God will lead me to the right path. I know half of the time i might be the mean-est, ill-est, dirty minded girl. But i know ultimately, i'm still afraid of God and nothing else. When i get scared or haunted by my own fears, i try to tell myself it's nothing to be afraid of - God will guide you.
I'm a sinner, but i fear God. I may say the ill-est things, but i know i will not do anything to disappoint him.
Written with love; 10:55 pm
