I wish things were easier done than said. I was just browsing through my old photos and i realised how much i've been through. I've never forgotten my past relationships, be it friends or more than friends. It all seems so fresh to me. So fresh to me that i didn't realised it's been 2 years. So fresh that it didn't occur to me that i could never get back what i've lost. Worst of all, i couldn't make things right, because i was two years, too late.
People walk in and out of your life, you have to deal with it. While there is still time, treasure that. I wish i did for the past two years. Heartaches were never as bad as the past but i thank the past for bringing me to where i am now. For if have not made those decisions i made in the past, i may have not been here, posting this, and realising how much life itself, means to me.
I've heard one too many deaths these few weeks, i have so much to be grateful for. I'm sorry for all the losses, and i know i can never feel the same way. But i know that i would never want to be in that position because i can never handle it the way you can. Strength, patience, love. How is it possible to have all three? I'm human, i make mistakes, i can't handle this on my own.
Whoever is reading this, i thank you. Because i don't think anybody reads this blog anymore. I'm just jotting my thoughts down because i have nobody to talk to. Nobody i could trust enough. But all these isn't even part of how much emotions i'm having right now. I cannot tell you exactly what's happening, what's the point? People won't get it anyway. In fact, people won't care.
I'm alone, and i'll always be.
Written with love; 4:08 am
