I can't do this myself. As positive as i may get, i know eventually i need someone to lean on. I just need someone. Doesn't necessarily mean a guy, i just need to know i have someone out there that i can depend on. Someone i could turn to - a constant. It may not sound difficult, but hell it's a bumpy ride on the way there.
I know we have family, it's not that i don't trust my own. You just know, somethings, you can't share? It's not that you can't, it's you don't want to. I just feel that i don't want to burden them, mom's gone through too much. There's only so much a woman can take, i can't bear to see her suffer any longer.
Times like these i wish i trusted someone. I wish i had someone to depend on, to have a shoulder to cry on. It's tough out here, believe me, i'm also where you're at. But i'm trying so hard. So very hard.
However, i think it's beautiful? There's beauty in pain.
Eventually we'll get something out of it, experience. We shall learn from these. They are not mistakes, they're things that will lead you to happiness. It may not be the next minute, hour or even the next day. But in the end, you're gonna be happy. If you're not, it's not the end yet. Being a pessimist, i still believe everybody deserves a happy ending. You just gotta wait, if not, run for it. Fight for it and make sure you work hard for it. If not, it's just not meant to be. Maybe you're ought to chase some other person, or maybe some other dream.
I may need someone, but i know while living this life, i'll do fine by myself. I'll make sure of it.
Written with love; 12:36 am
