I was happy, and now i'm not. God, help me?
Sudden encounter of dullness in ones feeling, scares me.
God help me live through this painlessly. I can't stand the righteousness that has been going through him and that everything i do is wrong. Was wrong, and will be wrong. Will this hatred ever begone from ones heart, sooner or later? Soothening the heart wasn't as easy as i thought it would be through shopping. God, everything was said to be 'better' soon after. Furthermore, you do get some joy and bliss after that. Frankly speaking, i do feel it, that tingly sensation after opening it and trying it on. It was instantaneous. Once the wrapping are opened and tags are cut, i get nothing but cash gone. Cold hard cash - gone. Half of the things inside my wardrobe aren't even used yet, but the tags are cut off. I don't even remember how much it costs me. Maybe a bomb. Like the red dress i bought for $70. I could have just save up! Moneymoneymoney. Oh, i can't stand this. It's the only way for me to 'buy' happiness. Help me please, i can't go through this sudden feeling of sadness any longer. If i want something, i want it. True to what i say, the thing is, no one believes me cos' it only comes years after. Come on, check with my mum. I wanted a pink bag since Secondary 2 and i only got it now. Funny isn't it? A spoilt brat who everyone refers to, isn't as spoilt as you think she is. I am the only child, but i don't get every single thing i want. The term states that an only child is a spoilt brat, but am i one? It isn't all true.
I want this, that, those, these.
Unlikely for me to shop alone, but now i am! Be jolly-giddy-up for me. Hurrah! Independant was never once in my dictionary up till ... this march. I shopped alone. Wow, i never ever gone out alone, and i shall one day. Ultimately, i want to be a successful woman with lots of money, not forgetting my religion and be in a very happy family. Even if it means without someone special. Probably, life is much better without men. Haha. Oh, i think if i get a husband, and he cheats on me, i'll get him circumsised. Oh, now you wouldn't want to date me, would you? Kidding.So be it, if i spend too much on things i don't need - includes notebooks i don't write in, i still shop. Haha, just to an extend that does not get overboard. Let's just say i have to cut down on things and start afresh. Haha, ghettos for the newbie. New places to shop, relax my mind and well, spent time with myself.
Wouldn't that be perfectly great? I thought so.
