Y'know what? Maybe i shall call this shit off. This misery. I've been going through hell. Sad thing is, i realised that no man deserves a single tear out of me, just recently. This current sucker deserve a slap. Bitchfoot. I don't know. But heck yeah, was that fast, as fast as you found me after a break up. Anyway, i've stopped writing letters and messages, cos that girl isn't worth it. Haha, sorry babe. And i'm sorry, 'the boyfriend'. Ugh, Qiu, let's move on. These bastards deserve to get played on rather than fully loved, whole-heartedly. Perhaps, i won't be much of a good girl right now. I'm sick of being nice when i shouldn't be. I can't take it. Haha. Mentally disturbed by yesterday, both that ass and that white thing. Yes, i saw a pontianak. I mean, it's much worse when you have to remember you were talking to sucker. A drunk sucker who has found another just to please himself. Oh, i guess you're right who? . Oh gosh. I am so fucked up with this. Oh, darn adult content. OH, SORRY UNDERAGED. UGH! i hate myself for being mean, but is this really what he deserves? I am tired sick and totally physically unstable. I am ill, shivering with fear yeasterday and woke up in fear of remembering that i just knew he had one. Wow. Nobody knows cos, they act like they fucking care. Like he even knows. UGH. You bitchfoot. Am i supposed to be this mean so you can forget me and be with her happily while she loves you and you don't? Come on, you can grow to love her like i did to you. One word: Love. That just kills me right now. I am emotionally drained, i have not idea what else to feel that upset and disappointed. I can't take it, waking up shivering and not wanting to sleep up till night. Just to keep myself from remembering, i called you, talked and guess what, you got drunk? Wow, you so changed. I CAN TOO. But i know mine will be way better, know why, cos i don't wanna end up in hell cos i know how much hurt i've gone through inside and it'd be worse when i get tortured! PLEASE. i beg you, i want the best for you, take care of yourself. Don't do foolish things. Haha, be with her and just be happy. Anyway, i think she's not worth for me to wait. Haha, should i? I think i'll deserve a better guy. Cos, know what, you were the best and you changed. I stayed and you let me go. So, be it honey. It's over. I'm done. Finally, i'm moving on. I don't know what i'd do if you come back. I guess it'll all come back to fate and destiny. Haha, the two words. I'm the unbeliever in this, cos i've lived through it assholes. Now, now. I need a companion. (Qiu, you know what i mean.)
Written with love; 12:32 pm
